hi, lovers!
I know, I know…it’s not polite to talk about sex or money.
but aren’t those two forces the ones that have driven 85% (a truly technical approximation) of decisions since the dawn of time??
I think so! which is why I wanted to kick off our first sunday series of 2025 with something a bit spicy. welcome to our chat about some of the ways we can swing for the fences and strive towards two of the goals most dear to my heart: getting hotter and richer. I had a REALLY solid 2024 (see below reel for some highlights), but my word for 2025 is “deeper” because I want to go even deeper on everything I set the foundation for the past 12 months. and that includes the topics we’re discussing today…
appendix of goodness
we’re really getting into it today, so I wanted to start by providing you a quick hitter appendix to serve as your sort of à la carte menu. take what you want, scroll past what you don’t—after all, who the hell am I to judge?
moodboard moment: iPhone background you can download
my 12 commandments for getting hotter
my dermatology-grade skincare arsenal
the part where we talk about money
Q&A: meet lawyer turned author and podcaster Carinn Jade
paid subscribers exclusive: content I’ve consumed and loved. sharing recommendations for articles, podcasts, and books
paid subscribers exclusive: choosing to trust myself…why I now own a scale for the first time since college
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your new iPhone wallpaper
before we get into the real fun of it, I wanted to offer you a visual representation of what I have in mind for this year in the realm of getting HOTTER and RICHER. and in case you’re so inclined, it’s sized to be an iPhone wallpaper if click on the image to download! xKD
GETTING HOTTER
my 12 commandments for getting hotter
dermatology grade skincare > more makeup (listing my tried and true products for said endeavor below!)
read and embody The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
get caught up on your doctor’s appointments—yes, that includes annual skincheck at the derm, the OB, and the dentist!
it’s fun to have fun—get some GNOs,at-home game nights, dates, and shows (concerts, plays, art gallery openings, standup, etc.) on your cal
text less, call more. especially love a morning yap before work
cultivate your personal style by investing in your capsule wardrobe. personally, this is my year of acquiring more belts, pants that aren’t jeans, and accessories
GO. TO. THERAPY. but don’t use therapy speak on your friends/fam. save that deliciousness for your sessions!
find a workout class that works for you (my faves are The Class and Y7 sculpt). treat that time as sacred as if you were going to church
cook at home and as intuitively and as much as you can. be present when you’re sitting down to eat (phone away!)
speaking of the phone, she sleeps in another room—try and put her on the charger far out of reach of your bed at least 45 minutes before you need to ZZZ…
peppermint tea and a book before bed
find your tribe and tell them you love them. could be romantic love, but I’m also talking about saying “love you” to your friends <3
my dermatology-grade skincare arsenal
it took me years to hone my routine, and I still switch it up a ton depending on the season and how my skin is doing, but here are the products you’ll always find in my bathroom, laid out in a step-by-step order of use!!
get makeup off: ENVIRON Dual Action Pre-Cleansing Oil
hydrating serum: IS CLINICAL Hydra-Cool Serum (apply this to a freshly washed and WET face)
moisturize: ENVIRON Vita-Antioxidant AVST Moisturizer (start with level 1 and once you finish each bottle, you go up a grade)
under eyes: STRIVECTIN Peptight 360 Tightening Eye Serum
décolletage: STRIVECTIN Tightening Neck Cream
extra credit
spot treatments: IS CLINICAL Active Serum
GETTING RICHER
part of me was tempted to literally just write the word NEGOTIATE and leave that as a complete hypothesis on this topic. but who am I kidding? I love to blab! whether you’re self-employed or working on behalf of someone else’s company, I subscribe to the “you don’t ask, you don’t get” school of thought.
before you ask, you have to know what you’re after. so, I think you have to start by asking yourself the very real question: what do you want? what do you need? are you being compensated at market value for your talent and execution? if not, what needs to change?
I’m also a huge proponent of getting guidance from someone who can be a trusted resource in the realm of finance. the key here is objectivity. because no matter how educated you are on what you should do in the realm of finances, you’re not objective when it comes to your money. I’ve been a client of The Financial Gym since 2018 and continue to invest in this monthly service (we meet quarterly, but it’s a monthly membership fee) because I need both advice and accountability. I highly recommend it if you’re looking for a financial advisor! tell them I sent you.
in sum, I actually wrote a whole essay on my journey into adulthood and personal finance in the below sunday series send. as a bonus, it includes a Q&A with the incomparable — I’d love for you to take a read.
meet Carinn Jade
Carinn Jade is a lawyer, writer, and cohost of the Pop Fiction Women podcast. Her essays have been published in The New York Times, DailyWorth, and Motherwell. She has attended the GrubStreet Novel Generator, Yale Writers’ Conference, and the Northern California Writers’ Retreat. Carinn grew up on the North Fork of Long Island and lives with her family in New York City. The Astrology House is her first novel.
Kayla Douglas: Carinn, you began your career as a lawyer. At what point did you realize you were interested in pivoting, and how did you go about extracting yourself from practicing law?
Carinn Jade: My extraction from the practice of law was gradual (which, for a cardinal fire sign = painfully slow). I knew I wanted out when I became a mother. The hours and the culture of BigLaw suited me as a single/married woman, but it was untenable for me as a mother. To the credit of my bosses, I was given many opportunities to scale back my workload and billable hours, but that was a bitter pill for me to swallow. I didn't want to step back! Being an author was a career where I didn't have to temper my ambition because my schedule and the work product were completely within my control. Plus, it had been a dream of mine to write a novel since I was in middle school. And thus, the long transition began.
If anyone is interested in more detail (from logistics to existential crises), we did a whole series on Pop Fiction Women called How to Pivot, with three professionals discussing their transition to creative work. And every Debut Discussion asks about the journey from one life into the published author world.
KD: Which came first, the Pop Fiction Women podcast or working on your debut novel? Tell us about the pod for those who aren't yet familiar!
CJ: The writing came first! When I first started writing -- as a new mother and a full-time lawyer -- I realized how little fiction I'd read since I was in school. I knew I had to step up my reading game -- not only for entertainment but for figuring out what I liked and didn't like. That's how the podcast seed was planted.
But it really came to a head when I listened to another podcast (with a panel of men) discuss the movie Gone Girl without mentioning Gillian Flynn's name once. It was all Ben Affleck and David Fincher, but they would have nothing without Flynn's insanely original story AND she wrote the screenplay, which was Oscar-nominated. I was enraged. So, I thought we need a woman's perspective on creators of pop culture.
On our show, Pop Fiction Women, we engage in the subversive act of taking women seriously. That means messy women, unlikeable women, and women in love, to name a few that are often categorically dismissed. In our interviews, we also treat creative women with the awe and respect that they deserve but don't always get.
KD: You've openly shared that you have a few manuscripts in the drawer that never made it past an agent. What advice would you give to someone who is working on a creative pursuit and fielding rejection?
CJ: I love this question because I have years of experience! I'm going to take your question as two parts. My advice to someone who is working on a creative pursuit is never give up. My advice to someone who is fielding rejection is to give yourself permission to quit. I know that's contradictory! But somehow that combination of opposites allowed me to persevere with passion (after repeatedly quitting and finding my way back).
KD: Your thriller, THE ASTROLOGY HOUSE, is deeply rooted in your appreciation for the zodiac. How did you decide to incorporate this passion into your work of fiction?
CJ: I am embarrassed to say the idea came to me very late in the game! I would seriously confer with my horoscope to check whether it was an auspicious time to query agents with my previous manuscripts, and yet it never occurred to me to incorporate astrology into my work. It was the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that put the idea on my head when Erika Jayne hosted an astrology party during Season 10. I said to myself, what is an astrology party and could I make it a weekend retreat?
KD: What was the most unexpected part of bringing your debut into the world?
CJ: I am both an overly optimistic dreamer (Aries sun), but also very pessimistically practical (Capricorn moon) which means that once my novel was sold at auction in a major deal -- an absolute dream come true -- I was sure everyone who read it would hate the book. So the most unexpected part has been the love and support I've received from booksellers, bookstagrammers, other authors, and readers.
KD: Can you share anything about what you're working on next?
CJ: I am working on another novel of vacation suspense - my absolute favorite genre. This time an actress retreats to a tropical island after losing her fourth Academy Award nomination. She is utterly desperate to win with her next project, so when she crosses paths with a psychic and this particular island's history, we will find out just how far she's willing to go. But my editor hasn't read it and worked her magic yet, so I'll have a much better pitch in 2025.
KD: Shifting to what you're reading! Tell us about something you read recently that left you with a book hangover.
CJ: I recently read Lord of the Flies for the very first time (it was not assigned in my middle/high school) and I was shocked at how well it holds up. But the part that gave me a hangover was realizing how many of my favorite TV shows, books and movies borrow scenes (almost directly!) from a novel published in 1954. It hurt my head to think of its power and reach!
KD: What book is on your TBR pile that you're most excited to pick up?
CJ: Saltwater by Katy Hays. It's out in March, but I have an early copy that I can't put down!
KD: The Sunday Series was conceptualized as a love letter to my favorite day of the week. If we were with you in New York on Sunday, where would you take us to spend the afternoon?
CJ: I'm such a brunch girlie so that's first! For the last twenty years I'd been devouring the Nutella french toast at Penelope on 30th and Lex, but they closed this summer (I'm still sobbing). Then we'd visit MOMA. I don't understand modern art in the slightest, but yet it never fails to inspire me and fill my creative tank. Then we'd walk through Madison Square Park over to the East River promenade, and finally, watch the Empire State Building light up after looking up what that night's colors mean.
the curated newsroom: content I’ve consumed that you may want to, too
and this brings us to a super fun curation of some stories swirling in the zeitgeist that I can’t get enough of right now. exclusively for my paid readers, I’m sharing a selection of articles, podcasts, and books that I think you’ll find intriguing! for me, 2025 is the year of deeper conversations, and I love the idea of being like, “did you read that article in the Journal?” and *actually* having something to discuss besides petty gossip.
Hollywood Roles Dry Up for Women Over 50. No One Told Nicole Kidman (Wall Street Journal): I enjoy all of Lane Florsheim’s style coverage for WSJ, but this one was specifically up my alley, having just watched Babygirl in theaters. I’m in awe of the volume of work Kidman has done in the past few years and the risk-taking her roles have required. it’s paying off. this article (amongst so many other interesting points) cites that, “Since last year, the actor’s mentions on social media increased by 88%…” — to be nearing 60 years old and have your star rising so considerably is an incredible accomplishment in our ageist world. bravo, Nicole!
[ podcast rec ] I found the below discussion about Ozempic sooooo fascinating! I’m team “pro-choice” on weight loss drugs and 1000% and really appreciated this more thoughtful dive into the changing cultural conversation around ‘fatness’ in America…
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