summer is a [comparison] trap
plus, a little bit about how I'm spending my last 6 weeks of 30
hi friends,
it’s been two weeks since I’ve landed in your inbox and yet, somehow, what feels like months worth of new cycles have transpired. brat summer has taken over the cultural zeitgeist. Kamala has entered the chat! the Olympics have kicked off in Paris. aaaaad way less important but big news for me personally, I’ve secured a spot at the NYC Marathon! some could say, there’s “a lot going on at the moment.” but after some time OOO (hence skipping last week’s newsletter!) out east, I’m thrilled to be back home and easing into routine.
speaking of home, my AC in its usual state of july/august overdrive which brings me to a hot take you may or may not be onboard with me for, but I’ll just say it. I’m NOT a summer girlie—I much prefer the crispness in the air on a fall mornings, or the promise of those first few glorious spring afternoons. for me, summer brings with it not only the inability to achieve the perfect sleeping temperature but also the constant need to talk yourself (myself) down from the notion that we (I) should be doing MORE on any given day. and this is coming from someone who got in 26.2k steps yesterday!
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the summer comparison trap
now look, I know I contribute to this toxic cycle of comparison on social by posting about the places I’m going! SORRY!! admittedly, my spring/early summer travel schedule was bananas. but the irony of that is that even with the frequency at which I’m out and about, sometimes I still don’t feel like I’m doing “enough,” experiencing “enough” or heck, even reading “enough.” it’ll be a random Tuesday and I’ll be doom-scrolling in bed twenty frames deep into someone I barely know’s IG Story that has me feeling like, “WAIT, why am I not in St. Tropez right now??” it’s sick. but I know I’m not alone in this delusion. Tinx spoke of this “summer comparison” in a podcast back in June, so I’ll pop the episode in below in case you are in your feels on it all too.
a way to reframe what you invest in
I’ll be super vulnerable in sharing that I actually speak of this comparison/not-enoughness insanity with my financial advisor, and in our recent session, we went deeper into the psychology of saying “yes” versus “no” to a trip or possible “treat yourself” moment. one exercise he is having me do (LOL) is to go back through all my statements from the past quarter and when I see the charge, flag whether it elicits a positive emotional response. as in, was that meal in Montauk or the Marais — or Manhattan for that matter — part of a memory of a super special night? then it was worth it. but that impulse purchase driven by the “I need something new to wear for an event” that resulted in me buying a dress that actually cut me too tight and left me uncomfortable all night? not worth it.
all of this to say…I’m going to start to really put investments in trips and things through this post-spend emotional response filter a bit more purposefully and see what future shifts may occur. I’m starting by giving this area of my life a hyper-focus during the month of August, since a small block of time makes the extra attention needed seem more manageable. if you too want to give this a try, here are the directives my advisor shared with me:
Set your intention for the next few months. How do you want to approach your life, the things that matter to you, and your finances?
Review your spending report. Check-in on your emotional reaction to different transactions.
august at home
all of this to say, it’s the perfect time for me to take a beat and regroup, because I’m barely traveling in August! since coming home from the Hamptons last Sunday, I’m rooted in the city until early September — with the exception of two trips within New York State — until I’m slated to go to Colombia for a friend’s wedding which I’ll combine with my annual birthday trip. with over six weeks of stillness to dive into my training, focus on rest, and reset a bit, I have no excuse not to finish out 30 feeling my best. especially since the following six weeks are looking like they’ll be on the road…
subleting my place!
just the same way I started by sharing in my last newsletter that I was looking for a place in Paris for a month (I’m in the process of finalizing something that came through!), I’m now looking to find a vetted and trustworthy human to make my West Village sanctuary their own for a bit. my apartment will be open for a sublet from September 8th to October 20th. yes, six weeks of early fall glory to enjoy being in a girliepop WV studio and live out your Carrie Bradshaw dreams! I’m really only looking to fill this by word of mouth, so if you think you may know someone looking for something for six weeks, please feel free to share my email: kayla@curatedbykayla.com for them to reach out! I’m including some pics below too.
some news and pop culture moments I’m loving
you all seemed to like this format from my last send, so continuing on here and sharing a handful of the stories that stood out to me most this week. there’s SO MUCH news happening that it’s hard to narrow it down, but hoping that if you like this eclectic mix (politics, tradwife discourse, restos and TV), it means we’re the same kind of weird.
How did Doug Emhoff hear Biden was out? After taking a SoulCycle class in WeHo. Without his phone (Los Angeles Times) I’m actually DEAD that Doug was at a Soul class with the girls and the gays when some of the most impactful news in presidential history (Biden dropping out) broke. I love that our Second Gentleman is campaigning for his next role as First Hubs not only because it breaks gender barriers, but also because he brings a Jewish perspective to the White House! this interview made me smile when he said, “I promise you, the work that I’ve done as Second Gentleman in this fight against anti-Semitism, this fight to eradicate hate, I’m just going to keep living openly like a Jew and maybe there will be a Mezuzah on the White House just like there is on the Vice President’s residence.” this should give us all a bit of hope for the future.
Meet the queen of the ‘trad wives’ (and her eight children): Hannah Neeleman, known to her nine million followers as Ballerina Farm, milks cows, gives birth without pain relief and breastfeeds at beauty pageants. Is this an empowering new model of womanhood — or a hammer blow for feminism? (The Sunday Times) if you’re entrenched in the same corners of the internet as I am, your entire TT feed has been full of rhetoric around this SCATHING feature on Ballerina Farm. I highly recommend a read of the actual article as the journalism is 10/10. one thing that stuck out most to me about Hannah’s story was when the writer covered how Daniel, Hannah’s husband, forced their first date by calling up someone in charge of his daddy’s airline—his dad helped found JetBlue—to book a ticket to sit next to her on a plane, then impregnated her mere months later despite her being at Juilliard to study ballet. but if it’s truly TLDR and you want to quickly glean some cultural analysis of what this means for the Mormon agenda and its impact on the internet/culture (i.e. the Nara Smith effect), I enjoyed this video, and the below debrief from the ever-insightful Caro Burke.
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Credit-card rewards are tearing friends apart: Our obsession with points is turning brunch into a social minefield. (Business Insider) Substacker
included this article in her recent send and it piqued my interest! as a member of many-a-group-trip Splitwises, there is just so much nuance in how “splitting the bill” is handled these days, and the fact that publications from Business Insider to The Wall Street Journal (“If a Friend Bills You $4 for a Favor, Are They Really a Friend?”) are reporting on this cultural phenomenon makes me think, huh, we all ought to do a better job talking through these complexities with our friends!!Who’s Behind the Fake ‘And Just Like That’ Filming Notices? (The New York Times) I’ve been LOLing at this since @wildwestvillage started to post about these flyers popping up in our neighborhood a couple weeks back, so the fact that the NYT is reporting on it gave me a chuckle. I really hope you take a minute to swipe through the post below and read the “Project Details” on each flyer. but beyond satire, who’s excited for this next season? I know the reboot has brought a lot of not-so-positive reviews, but I’ll be first in line to queue up Max with a bowl of Skinny Pop when the new episodes drop, though, allegedly not until 2025.
Hulu’s ‘Tell Me Lies’ Is Returning With An Even Riskier Season 2 (Forbes) if you’ve been a sunday series subscriber for a bit, you know that I’m obsessed with author Carola Lovering (check out our Q&A here!). her debut, Tell Me Lies, was adapted by Hulu last year, and LUCKY US, we’re getting another season, set to release on September 4th. sounds like this one is going to be going away from the book, so I’m curious where the producers will take it…
Olympians Are Getting Loads and Loads of Gear: Athletes are unboxing sponsored merchandise and sharing try-on hauls on TikTok, featuring brands like Nike and Lululemon (The New York Times) I’m really loving the Olympification of my TT feed, and seeing the merch that the athletes are sporting is a part of that. I think the Olympics bring out a burrowed-down patriotism in so many of us every four years that we don’t otherwise feel, so it’s cool to see red, white, and blue being sported by these people who have worked their entire lives to compete. looooove to see them getting the bag!
This U.K.-based restaurant is bringing a taste of Bombay to NYC's Pastis: This will be the first time Dishoom has come across the pond. (Time Out) as a big fan of Indian fare and Dishoom specifically (if you can’t get into Gymkhana in London, one must get practical!) this post caught my and 20k other people’s eyes on IG the other day. the collab runs from August 19th to August 30th for breakfast only, allowing New Yorkers to dig into Dishoom’s must-have Bombay-inspired items like the Parsi Omelette seasoned with coriander and green chili and warming House Chia made the traditional way. in addition to being breakfast only, the pop-up is only available during the weekdays from 8am to 11am. reservations drop on August 1 on Resy, so mark your calendar for Wednesday NOW!
TTs I’m sending my sister
I’m creating this new category to close out the newsletter to represent the random chaos of what’s on my mind at the moment. I send my sister approximately seventeen videos per day as it is one of our primary forms of daily tethering. notably, this roundup is very election/Taylor heavy because those topics occupy 35% of my brain at any given time. here’s what I can’t get over this week:
Former Rep. Liz Cheney (R) says Trump would try to stay beyond a 2nd term
Swifties out in full force in Munich to gather around Olympiapark show
How Google Turned Its 90-Year-Old Train Terminal into its $2.1B Office
okay! see you next week!! with my being back home in August, I’m planning not only to be in your inbox each week, but I have a fun month-long feature coming that I’m calling “summer school” where we’re going to break out of the literary mold with our Q&As and showcase four incredible women’s career paths. they do some pretty incredible work in the realm of fashion, design, marketing, and more! I can’t wait to share with you! xKD
kayla, the TT’s i sent my sister section has me screaming (with joy!) - so funny, so thoughtful, & such a great way for me to catch up on tiktoks when i’m logged out hahhahaha. thanks for delivering one of my favourite newsletters every sunday. 💌
So happy you're back! Also so excited your Paris plans seem to be working out 🤗 not sure of whom I will be more jealous - you staying in Paris or the lucky Person living at your place (would be fun to hear about their adventures too if willing to share 😄)