Some thoughts on "getting your bag" (literal and figurative).
including my Vivrelle code to get you a free month of luxury handbags, plus, everything I bought in Japan and Korea...including my K-Beauty haul!!
Hellooooooo from NEW! YORK!! CITY!
Oh, how I missed her. It’s been soul-reaffirming to be back in the swing of things and reigniting my routine since returning from Seoul.
Yesterday, after going to The Class, I did my usual walk from Tribeca back to West Village, popping by Rigor Hill Market, snagging provisions at Murray’s Cheese, and ultimately winding up at Abington Square Market. Fully leaning into the joy of it all, I found myself picking out my second round of weekend tulips in two days. I mean, the limit simply does not exist for how many tulips one needs in their apartment on the first spring Saturday of the year!!
It was then that I found myself meandering over to the last vendor at the market, intently reading the ingredients on a roasted garlic and caramelized shallot soup. Despite having my headphones in, I heard a muffled voice next to me remarking on how good the soup was. Upon popping my earbuds out and turning to my right, what a delight it was to realize that the voice was that of Andy Cohen. We ended up chatting for a moment on books (he recommended Long Island Compromise by Taffy Brodesser-Akner), and ultimately, his endorsement convinced me to get the soup.
God, I love New York.
Some thoughts on “getting your bag” (literal and figurative)
My code to get you a free month at Vivrelle—your key to luxury handbags on a membership basis
The Vault (Paid Subscriber Exclusive): everything I bought in Japan and Korea
The Vault (Paid Subscriber Exclusive): your Korean beauty checklist
The idea behind this essay has been percolating for weeks. Sometime between doing an unplanned fulllllll send at Prada in Milan, scoring a 2008 Celine duffle bag at a vintage store in Soho, and leaving Tokyo with an early 2000s Fendi Baguette (pictured below on her first NY frolick), it felt like time to put pen to paper—or rather, keyboard to Substack—on some of my deeper thoughts behind the meaning I ascribe to handbag acquistion.
So, let’s talk “getting your bag” in the literal sense. Growing up in a rural town in Western New York, I didn’t have the language or real-life reference points to understand anything “designer.” To be clear, I had everything I needed and more, but there was no frivolity.
If you’d asked me in middle school if I was aware of what Chanel/Louis Vuitton/Hermès were, I’m genuinely not sure what my answer would have been? From watching The Rachel Zoe Project, perhaps I had an awareness that these brands existed, but certainly no tangible touchpoints to experiencing them IRL. [Oh, what bliss to have been so sheltered from the realities of consumerism…]
By the time I was seventeen, I’d gone to Paris and walked the Champs-Élysées. I’d seen the flagship Cartier/Dior/Goyard shops (from outside) and was vaguely aware of these legacy brands’ cultural relevance, but I had no thread pulling me towards coveting the goods they produced because it seemed so very far from what was possible. No, no…the desire to own a designer bag wouldn’t be deeply rooted in my consciousness for years to come.
Fast forward to post-college life—when my first job paid $30,000. I’ve written about this formative period (an era when it was not uncommon that I’d get my card declined at Trader Joe’s) before, but not necessarily in reference to how my world began to expand, and with that expansion, so too did my desires for material goods.
It was around this time that I began watching old seasons of Sex and the City, lusting to live in New York, and started being exposed to people who actually owned designer goods. My frame of reference was changing, and with that, I found myself coveting things that now felt tangible, despite being far from my reality—that is, one that revolved around living on my own for the first time, having a car payment, school loans, insurance, and no idea how to balance it all.
At the time, I would’ve bitterly told you that no one was handing me down a bag…how wildly unfair!!!! Thinking back, I can practically hear my inner monologue stomping its proverbial foot. Because I wasn’t just ~jealous~ in those moments when I’d compliment someone on their YSL/Ferragamo/Gucci/Bottega, only to be met with a breezy, “oh thanks, my mom didn’t want it anymore!” or, “thanks, I stole it from my sister’s closet!!!!”…I was incredulous.
Did they realize how lucky they were, I wondered?? These lived experiences—walking in parallel with mine—were unfathomable.
I knew that if I wanted any of those things, I’d have to be the one to buy them. No handbag fairy was coming my way!!!!! And I’m embarrassed to admit that I used to have a chip on my shoulder about that…as if it was my god-given right to be handed a purse that cost more than an entire semester’s tuition at my in-state school.
Almost a decade later, I can reconcile that this mentality was immature, but equally, the best thing that could have happened. It was this lust for it all that lit a fire under my ass that I’m not sure would have been there had I been handed the bag to begin with? Because of course the “bag” is a symbol of so much more…of security, of success, of stability. Of all the things I was utterly ravenous for.
And so dear reader, that brings us to now—when I’m at a place in my financial journey where I’m just now able to start treating myself. It’s worth noting that despite having a very stable full-time career, I only feel empowered to finally “get my bag” because of my side income from this newsletter, from ShopMy, and from the handful of side projects I’ve begun doing (like my brand deal with Mastercard). So for all of you who’ve been a part of championing my growth in those arenas, THANK YOU.
But it’s this inflection point that brings on a whole different slew of emotions (less resentment, more guilt?), including a mix of gratitude, doubt, excitement, fear, and yes, continued lust. The thing is, I don’t want to end up like Carrie!!!! I don’t want to go and try an apartment and realize I could have, if only I didn’t blow it on bags/shoes/that mink coat I [almost] bought in February but resisted.
So it’s a constant state of push-pull. Of deciding what is worth it NOW and what I want to put aside for future me. Of choosing what I feel is worth investing in to create my forever wardrobe, and what is just a flash in the pan—this debate is the everyday struggle, and my new inner monologue. It’s no longer about whether I can have it—whatever shiny thing has caught my eye—but whether it’s worth spending my energy and resources on now, or better saved for something later.
I can’t think of a more poignant transition than this to talk about a brand disrupting the luxury space by affording you access to bags and jewelry via a monthly membership: enter Vivrelle. Their service allows you to try and test out goods from leading brands before fully committing! Because if it’s an investment piece you’re considering but not quite sold on yet, as part of your membership, you receive discounted prices to purchase items from Vivrelle's closet. But I’m getting ahead of myself!
Vivrelle is a membership club that lets you borrow designer accessories for a flat monthly fee—think rotating your closet in real time with pieces from Chanel, Bottega, and more, without the commitment of ownership. It’s the easiest way to tap into luxury on your own terms, swapping bags (or jewelry) whenever the mood—or outfit—calls for it. Use my code (KAYLADOUGLAS) for your first month free and consider it your gateway into a much more dynamic, infinitely more fun wardrobe.
Well, what could be more fitting for this shoppy edition of The Sunday Series than to break down all the things I bought in Japan and Korea? I know what a popular destination combo it’s becoming, so hopefully this edit helps you think about what to prioritize on your next trip.
A pair of custom jeans from Maker’s Pride of Craft: I’M SO EXCITED FOR THESE!!! They are officially the most expensive pair of pants I’ve ever purchased but will be completely custom to meeeee and all made from Japanese denim. More to come when they ship in about two months.
Two pairs of Onitsuka Tigers: including the quintessential Kill Bill yellow sneaker! I recommend the store in the main Tokyo train station.
